I'm worried and afraid?

well a while back i gave up on christianity then i tryed satanism and i did bad things like say how God,jesus were false and other things,people ripping pages out of the bible,destroying a crucifix,throwing holy water out and when doing the dedication ritual the prayer said somehting about jesus rotton and usless holy spirit and given my actions afterwards im not dedicated to i went to confession said my sins but couldnt say that one about dedicating but i will. Also when i prayed i felt better and did i commit a unforgiveable prayer?? I know what i did was wrong and im asking to make peace with God and move forward in my religion so would he forgive me?